Thursday, 9 June 2016

27 Years and yet no answer.

Hey people out there,

How are you doing? I hope you all are happy and living a luxurious life. Its my 27th birthday. I know none of you remember that its my birthday. I dont mind. Since last twenty six years no one has wished me so I am habituated now. I wonder you remember me or not? Needless to say, you dont but thats okay. Where is my family? Mum, dad and my elder and younger brother? All are good no? Okay wait! I’ll talk to them.

Hey young brother! How are you? And what are you up to? Hows your study going? Do you still pee in bed? Haha! Just kidding! Dont mind. I heard you are dads favorite. Is it true? It has to be, after all, all he wanted is you. I heard when you were ill and you were three, he took you to hospital and was with you throughout the treatment, didn’t move, didn’t eat, didn’t drink. How lucky are you. Otherwise badass like him will not even care if someone is dying in front of him. He is heartless. Oops sorry! He is not. He has a heart full of love for you only. Fulfil his dream because your life coasted heavily to someone else and also take care mom. She equally loves you.

Hola! My big brother! How are you? You wear beard now? Last time I saw you, you were like a girl, no sign of any hair on your face.  You completed your graduation or still hitting your head against the books? I hope you dont. By the way whats your future plan? Advocate, doctor, engineer or what? Oh wait! Are you going to carry dads small empire to next level and become the so called “prince”.  Whatever my good luck wishes is with you. Did I mention I hate you? Dont bite your lips. I do hate you because since so many years you have not come even a single time to check on me, how I am doing? Do I have all comfort or do I need anything. You didn’t come along even once. Last time when you saw me I was crying I know and you were ordered by dad to go inside the room. That was last time I saw my big bro. I miss you badly and I need you. If you get time come and see me if I am doing well? Where is mom?

Hey mom! How are you my lady? Missing me? I know you do. Even I do. Life is so empty without you here but I dont want you to come here and stay with me. You live there because that life has all the luxury and comfort. Here you wont get anything such as your lakme make up kit, your branded sarees, slippers, cosmetic and all other things. By the way mom, are you fine now? In last meeting you were having pain and you were crying out of the ache. Did you check with doctor? Please mom take care of yourself.  You know what few days back I saw a scene where we both were getting separated. I was forced to stay away from you to a far place where no one comes and goes. It was a kind of deserted. We were holding each others hand. You were not letting me to go. I was crying and so were you. Badass people hit hard on our clinch and I was taken away. All I could hear was you were crying and tears were unstoppable.  I hope mom, it never happens again. I want to be with you mom. I want to enjoy the love you shower of your motherhood. Mom please help me, I miss you badly in my life. Please fulfil the void-ness of my life. For time being I am going but I’ll come for sure.

Hey Dad. Sorry I shouldn’t call you dad. Why should I? You are a butcher. You know what does a butcher do? Cut the animal just like you cut me. Dad, its been 27 years now can you just answer me, what did I do? What was my fault that you punished me and sent me here in this graveyard where around me only dead bodies are lying. A place where people come to bury a dead body and go back to their places. Dad can you tell me what I am accused of that you send me to hell. I was just a five day born baby and you decided to murder me. Why, dad why? I am still not able to quench my thirst. A five day born baby, who does not know anything and you, killed me. What was my fault? That I was a girl and you wanted a boy. Why dad why? Was it moms fault that she gave birth to a girl? Was it in my hand to decide my sex? Speak up dad and tell me why did you ruin the life of someone who is not even aware of the word “world”  I did not even open my eyes most of the time in that duration of five days. Once I opened my eyes I saw my big brother, my mom feeding me. I didn’t even see your face and as far as I could guess, even you didn’t see me except the time when this brutal incident took place when you decided to stab a knife in my heart, not even letting me to see my mother. My breath was taken away in a single stroke and then you decided to bury my body in this graveyard among some other skeleton. My father just explain the difference between having a son and a daughter. Is a girl not capable of doing exactly what a boy can do? Dad just give a thought. That day, if you wouldn’t have done that today I would have been an engineer building some famous structures and people would have called me your daughter. I would have made you proud.  Dad I would have been an advocate, upholding law everywhere. Society would have said daughter of yours is doing good. You would have loved it. You would have been able to puff out your chest. Dad just think once at the age of 27 I might have been doing more than your younger brother for whom you killed me. Father, I am a girl that is not my fault.  Fault is youre thinking that a boy is better than a girl. Those days are gone now when girl used to sit in home, prepare food, doing the household work, ruining and killing their dreams. Today, a girl is far better than a boy, being capable of doing what you cant even think of. Father, I am a girl that is not my fault; fault is this society which has generated the gap between a boy and a girl. Father , I am a girl that is not my fault, fault is of God who thought that I may bring happiness in someones life but I disappointed you and you punished me as well. Well I deserved it because I am a girl and in this world a girl deserves same treatment because this world is full of hypocrites like you. A world where people talk about equality between a girl and a boy but when it comes to prove their point they would gift expensive clothes to their son, buy them expensive gift, give them best education and on the other hand they will kill the dream of playing with a baby doll of a girl. Actually you know what I am thankful to you. You saved me from so many future problems which I might have encountered in my life like getting harassed in school bus by mischief boy. You saved me from torturing my brain to think twice before putting on any dress.  You saved me from daily fear of getting raped while coming home alone in night. Father indeed you helped me in getting rid of so many problems which might have crossed my way.

Thank you father, for giving me a life which I never deserved. I hope your son will fulfil all your dreams. Still I hope by next birthday you will be able to answer my questions. Please let my mom to visit my graveyard. She wants to meet me and even I do. At least have respect for that woman who is helping you in advancing your generation. Take care of her. I’ll come next year again.

~ From a 5 day old baby who turned 27 today in her graveyard.

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