Thursday, 9 June 2016

27 Years and yet no answer.

Hey people out there,

How are you doing? I hope you all are happy and living a luxurious life. Its my 27th birthday. I know none of you remember that its my birthday. I dont mind. Since last twenty six years no one has wished me so I am habituated now. I wonder you remember me or not? Needless to say, you dont but thats okay. Where is my family? Mum, dad and my elder and younger brother? All are good no? Okay wait! I’ll talk to them.

Hey young brother! How are you? And what are you up to? Hows your study going? Do you still pee in bed? Haha! Just kidding! Dont mind. I heard you are dads favorite. Is it true? It has to be, after all, all he wanted is you. I heard when you were ill and you were three, he took you to hospital and was with you throughout the treatment, didn’t move, didn’t eat, didn’t drink. How lucky are you. Otherwise badass like him will not even care if someone is dying in front of him. He is heartless. Oops sorry! He is not. He has a heart full of love for you only. Fulfil his dream because your life coasted heavily to someone else and also take care mom. She equally loves you.

Hola! My big brother! How are you? You wear beard now? Last time I saw you, you were like a girl, no sign of any hair on your face.  You completed your graduation or still hitting your head against the books? I hope you dont. By the way whats your future plan? Advocate, doctor, engineer or what? Oh wait! Are you going to carry dads small empire to next level and become the so called “prince”.  Whatever my good luck wishes is with you. Did I mention I hate you? Dont bite your lips. I do hate you because since so many years you have not come even a single time to check on me, how I am doing? Do I have all comfort or do I need anything. You didn’t come along even once. Last time when you saw me I was crying I know and you were ordered by dad to go inside the room. That was last time I saw my big bro. I miss you badly and I need you. If you get time come and see me if I am doing well? Where is mom?

Hey mom! How are you my lady? Missing me? I know you do. Even I do. Life is so empty without you here but I dont want you to come here and stay with me. You live there because that life has all the luxury and comfort. Here you wont get anything such as your lakme make up kit, your branded sarees, slippers, cosmetic and all other things. By the way mom, are you fine now? In last meeting you were having pain and you were crying out of the ache. Did you check with doctor? Please mom take care of yourself.  You know what few days back I saw a scene where we both were getting separated. I was forced to stay away from you to a far place where no one comes and goes. It was a kind of deserted. We were holding each others hand. You were not letting me to go. I was crying and so were you. Badass people hit hard on our clinch and I was taken away. All I could hear was you were crying and tears were unstoppable.  I hope mom, it never happens again. I want to be with you mom. I want to enjoy the love you shower of your motherhood. Mom please help me, I miss you badly in my life. Please fulfil the void-ness of my life. For time being I am going but I’ll come for sure.

Hey Dad. Sorry I shouldn’t call you dad. Why should I? You are a butcher. You know what does a butcher do? Cut the animal just like you cut me. Dad, its been 27 years now can you just answer me, what did I do? What was my fault that you punished me and sent me here in this graveyard where around me only dead bodies are lying. A place where people come to bury a dead body and go back to their places. Dad can you tell me what I am accused of that you send me to hell. I was just a five day born baby and you decided to murder me. Why, dad why? I am still not able to quench my thirst. A five day born baby, who does not know anything and you, killed me. What was my fault? That I was a girl and you wanted a boy. Why dad why? Was it moms fault that she gave birth to a girl? Was it in my hand to decide my sex? Speak up dad and tell me why did you ruin the life of someone who is not even aware of the word “world”  I did not even open my eyes most of the time in that duration of five days. Once I opened my eyes I saw my big brother, my mom feeding me. I didn’t even see your face and as far as I could guess, even you didn’t see me except the time when this brutal incident took place when you decided to stab a knife in my heart, not even letting me to see my mother. My breath was taken away in a single stroke and then you decided to bury my body in this graveyard among some other skeleton. My father just explain the difference between having a son and a daughter. Is a girl not capable of doing exactly what a boy can do? Dad just give a thought. That day, if you wouldn’t have done that today I would have been an engineer building some famous structures and people would have called me your daughter. I would have made you proud.  Dad I would have been an advocate, upholding law everywhere. Society would have said daughter of yours is doing good. You would have loved it. You would have been able to puff out your chest. Dad just think once at the age of 27 I might have been doing more than your younger brother for whom you killed me. Father, I am a girl that is not my fault.  Fault is youre thinking that a boy is better than a girl. Those days are gone now when girl used to sit in home, prepare food, doing the household work, ruining and killing their dreams. Today, a girl is far better than a boy, being capable of doing what you cant even think of. Father, I am a girl that is not my fault; fault is this society which has generated the gap between a boy and a girl. Father , I am a girl that is not my fault, fault is of God who thought that I may bring happiness in someones life but I disappointed you and you punished me as well. Well I deserved it because I am a girl and in this world a girl deserves same treatment because this world is full of hypocrites like you. A world where people talk about equality between a girl and a boy but when it comes to prove their point they would gift expensive clothes to their son, buy them expensive gift, give them best education and on the other hand they will kill the dream of playing with a baby doll of a girl. Actually you know what I am thankful to you. You saved me from so many future problems which I might have encountered in my life like getting harassed in school bus by mischief boy. You saved me from torturing my brain to think twice before putting on any dress.  You saved me from daily fear of getting raped while coming home alone in night. Father indeed you helped me in getting rid of so many problems which might have crossed my way.

Thank you father, for giving me a life which I never deserved. I hope your son will fulfil all your dreams. Still I hope by next birthday you will be able to answer my questions. Please let my mom to visit my graveyard. She wants to meet me and even I do. At least have respect for that woman who is helping you in advancing your generation. Take care of her. I’ll come next year again.

~ From a 5 day old baby who turned 27 today in her graveyard.

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Sunday, 15 May 2016

Redefined friendship- A short story

When I got up in the morning that day, rubbing my eyes and trying to see the world, I gave a glance to my cell. I saw a row of messages, displayed to my phone. One by one I read the notification. I replied to all of them with a smile but then I clicked on this one particular message which shook me to the core, it read as follows:

"Your best friend is no more. He died last night making way to his home."
I read the message. I re-read it again and chills went down the spine as I was stuck to the words “No more”. I was numb and couldn’t believe what it told me. I immediately called on his number and no one picked up. I again called but I got the same result. I got nervous. My heart beat had started to go up and ending at high rates. My mind stopped working. That message had ruined my morning. Sweat beads appeared to accompany my forehead. I had no clue of what to do, I was not able to think. I punched my phone hard when it got hanged because of continuous calling. I saw his last seen; it was the same where our last conversation ended with a 'fuck off' word. I called the sender of the message.

"What the fuck are you saying?" My voice was breaking into pieces. I was grieving. I was crawling. My breath was so loud that he could hear it on other side.

There was silence engulfing me. Perhaps even he was not able to accept the fact. Even he must be feeling just like me. His mind must have fought hard against his heart to accept the fact. How could he just tell me so randomly that my friend was no more in this world. No, No I couldn’t accept it. My belief didn’t let me believe that!
"Answer me you asshole. What happened to him?"

With each second my heart was thumping louder and louder. My mind was not under my control. My leg started shaking as I found it hard to stand on ground anymore. My body shivered, dropping in signals to the mind that "he is not there anymore." Everything around me was blacking out. I desperately wanted to hear someone saying   that “No! He is alive. He’ll text you in some time.” I wanted him to be alive.

"Calm down please" A voice brought me back to reality after some time. He must have gathered a lot of guts to speak those words. He knew how much he meant to me although time between us was tough.

"Life has done wrong with him" He continued.

"Is he dead?” I finally spoke gasping whatever he said.

There was a pin drop silence for some moment. The silence spoke unspoken words. I needed no answer.

"On the name of Holy God please say no.” I murmured.

"He is"

Nooooo!" I shrieked. “He can't go. How could he? He promised me to stay with me throughout my life. He can’t."

I started crying. I broke completely. I started losing my breathe. My phone has sided down and I was freezing. My body felt weak and I couldn't find the courage to stand up anymore. I fell down on earth, as my phone came apart. My eyes slowly closing as I was making my way to unconsciousness. I closed my eyes with a sentence and a voice which was grieving "You were meant to be with me.”

After some time, a tall figure was there, broad forehead but a thin; smiling. A fair complexion and some acne were destroying his charm. I recognized him. It was him. That same guy, irritating guy in his worst sense of fashion. The shirt which I didn’t like at all and the jeans which was not washed for so many ages. Yes it was him. I got up with a force. My head felt heavy as if I was hammered. I stretched my hand. Reaching to his hand and trying to touch his fingers. He moved ahead leaned a bit and he touched mine. Yes he is a live. I cried as soon as he touched me. That message was a prank.

"Why did you do that prank?”

I cried more and more and couldn't hold it. I pulled him and hugged him tightly. I slapped him hard again and again. I embraced him again.

“I can't let you go ever and if you do this again I’ll walk away from you, I swear.”
I couldn’t hold the joy within myself. I wanted to just hug him and be with him. He pushed me aside, saw my face and wiped my tears. He smiled looking at me. He might be thinking "You are a bad beast but you care so much. Why don't you show this side of yours to me before?” He was silently observing me. I laid down on bed, still crying and trying to adjust what has happened and finally it was time to ask the reason so I asked:
"Why-why did you do that?"

"Doctor- doctor" I heard a voice.

"Please call doctor soon"

"What happened beta?”

I could hear several voices. Creating a chaotic situation. His voice lost among so many voices. I couldn’t understand what was happening.
I slowly opened my eyes. I saw several people around me hovering over my hospital bed. I was in the hospital.

"What? What am I doing here?” My eyes grew wild and I was aghast to see the hospital environment around me.

"Beta. Just relax everything is fine.” My mother sat by me.

“What am I doing here?” I shouted out of irritation. "Where is he? Call him right now"

"Who he beta? We all are here.” She explained.

My face fell silent. I looked at their faces. There face was numb as well. They also knew that he was my best friend in this unknown city.

My mum held my hand and put her arm on my forehead. It signaled me. My breath was heavier and hotter.

I screamed as loud as I could but my voice stuck after a time. It couldn't be heard. It was mourning as well. I saw his figure in front of me before I went to stage of numbness.
"Nurse injection please" I heard the last sentence.

"You are too irritating. Why don't you just take a break and not disturb me?" I texted him, clearly; sending a hard message of not disturbing me.
"You sure? You really don't want to disturb you? Am I so irritating?"
"Yea you are. Now can I resume my work?
"Sure but I didn’t intent to irritate you"
"Fuck off" last message to show that my saturation point is no longer able to hold me.

He didn't reply nor did I bother to check what the impact of my message was.

I call him best friend but things turned into mess many times. With time, importance decayed but the tag of best friends was there. I knew his and my life has never been easy to live. His only helping hand was me. I enjoyed the perk of being his best friend always. I didn't justify my act many times but he always stood with me. That's why I loved him so much.

He must have gone to walk after my last conversation with him. I didn't know that what had happened with him but I knew I missed the star of my life who stood by my side all the time.
I opened my eyes again. I felt thirsty. I got up forcing myself. I took the glass of water which was on tea pot put aside me. I gulped the water. I saw family was replaced by friends. They must have come to check on me. I saw everyone. Their eyes owned the same words.

"We will miss him."

Tears rolled out again. All came and hugged me. We all cried together.

It’s almost two weeks now. My late night chat has ended now around eleven. Cell never beeped at three after that. No one threw any compliment or dislike comments on my dp. Everyone seemed normal except me. I never got a good morning message from that number again. No facebook tag or snapchat for me after that. No one told me how beautiful I am looking. No one came along me to make me feel  alive. No one after that, spent time with me to enjoy my enjoyment. They all spent time to enjoy themselves. I was left alone in a crowd, less bothered how I am doing. Life ditched me and didn’t give me a chance to tell…
I wish I could stay with him for a longer period.
I wish I could tell him how much he means.
I wish I could tell him how life has been so comfortable having him around.
I wish I could tell him how his escape was emptying my life.
I wish I could tell him how life is so void without his unexpected calls and messages.
I wish I could tell him how happy I was having him in my life.
I wish I could compliment him for whatever I liked him about.
I wish I could dedicate songs just like he used to do.
I wish I could bring cake on his birthday just like he brought for me.
I wish I could just stand by his side just like he did. Although it caused irritation at times.
I cried watching our snaps again, though in every snap he was looking messed and I  was beautiful. Still he never insisted to delete those snaps rather deleted those which presented him.
I wish I could undo my last night message and tell him that you are irritating but  my favorite hobby is to get irritated by you
I wish I could tell him that I love him just like he loved me and I care more of this friendship then he did. I don’t just show.
I wish I could shout at him saying if you wanted to go then why did you come to my life and made it happening, at least a bit happening.
I wish I could speak all the unspoken words….

I cried a lot that night seeing and reading his chat and stupid talk to make me laugh. Every incident has some connection with him, be drinking a  coffee or beer, be walking on the road, be my angry face, be getting bored on Sunday, be talking to someone while I was on my way to buy groceries, be it any work of my life I missed him badly. All I had was his photo and chats . His memory killed me daily. I surely lost an annoying but a friend who cared for me like no one ever did.  I learnt two things after that incident

A famous saying which says “”Yesterday is accident, tomorrow is mystery and today is a gift. That's why it is called present””. Try to enjoy with those who make your today a gift and  second what's the benefit of holding grudges with someone if you get bad news next day. You will never be able to forgive yourself. Life is short but someone's might be shorter.
I held her hand. She was sobbing, tears rolling from her eyes, sticking to her cheeks. "I can understand agony through which you must have gone through. But are you sure you want to scribble the same on the pages?"

“Yes!" She nodded as I being a loyal friend sent through the manuscript of her emotions to a leading publisher. After a year her friendship was a best seller and she made her friendship immortal in this world.

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Friday, 15 April 2016

" I had lost focus.... from my book

A short excerpt from my book e-Love**Terms & Conditions applied

I had lost focus from the traffic light, drifting to my own world when suddenly I was back to the ground. I found the people around were blowing horns as I was driving too slowly, even though my eyes were open but her picture, Akshi, it was right in front of me making me recall the message again and again, every word nudged from him.

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Saturday, 2 April 2016

Book Review #2- Shiva Trilogy by Amish Tripathi

I am done with all the three masterpieces by Amish. The first part of Shiva Trilogy i.e. The immortals of Melhua was about a brahmin Shiva, who happened to come to Melhua with his tribe. Melhuians find Shiva as Neelkanth because of his Blue throat and considers him the one who will set the entire country free from the evil. An unknown evil for which Shiva sets a journey, visits the major parts of India along with his troop. His story was narrated in three parts by the author and he was successfully able to connect the entire journey. Shiva comes across various traditions, perception, thoughts during his journey which makes him to lead towards his ultimate aim of getting rid of the evil. Shiva also comes across numerous people such as his wife, wife’s real sister, wife’s kid from her ex-husband and many other people. In this entire journey author showed several aspects of various traditions which were there in India and at some places still exists such as Dharma is biggest than any other thing in world, Follow the rule of Humanity, If good is there, then evil can also be there, Evil is part of good. Author has shown the love of husband for his wife, son for his parents, and father for his daughter. He had successfully depicted the series of events which proved that a strong bound of love can make any one do anything, go beyond their saturation point. In second part of the book Shiva, reveals the secret of Naga tribe, who were considered the evil but in final part they come to know the real evil and the way to destroy the same.
So it’s a must read for all those who likes suspense, thriller and excitement. A perfect book; seriously written in background of ancient India and on mythological base. Words were chosen carefully, cover page was stunning and impressive. From my side 5 out of 5 to the entire series. Read the entire series then only you will be able to cherish the story.

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Monday, 14 March 2016

Signed copy,just two steps

So here we are, with a contest. A simple contest, participate and you may win signed copy of book "e-love**Terms & Conditions applied". 
  so what you have to do is :

1. Go to our page and hit on like button.
2. Comment or inbox us what do you think about the word "elove"

two lucky winner will get the get the copy free of cost.

Hurry up, last day to participate is March 27,2016.

Here is link:
Page :
Contest link :

Sunday, 14 February 2016

Technology and life

Since the day of the release of my book titled "e-Love* *Terms & Conditions Applied", my name got replaced with my debut novel’s name. People started calling me by the title of my novel “e-Love”. This is something an author always looks for. The day when the book was released, the question which was repeatedly asked was “what is e-Love?" I tried to answer and put acute efforts to highlight the real meaning of e-Love. As a part of human behaviour I was counter questioned, "It's very common these days, what's in your book that makes it different?" “Every love story is different in some or other way. This story will tell that every time in life we make some choices and how those choices shape our further lives." I said. Through this book I am not particularly concentrating on love but trying to show one big change that we gradually embrace in our life.

Today a smart phone has replaced many objects like video game which used to be fascinating for a kid, television for which siblings used to fight to see the desired television show, physical calendar where we used to put a circle around a date and make a note, and most importantly, the way of our traditional conversation. Earlier, on every occasion we used to call our near and dear ones to wish them. It was a way of showing our love and affection towards them. If the call was not made, it was a mark of forgetting the occasion. Now do we call on every occasion?  There will be a pool of people in a group like family, friends or something. On a special day the group admin will change the name of the group and bingo, people will post their messages in the group. Ironically, many a times it happens that it is later discovered that the person for whom all happy messages were sent was not active and that would become the topic of the next conversation. People will forget the real event and then will debate on some other topic and ultimately they would laugh and forget the matter. Dramatically, now to check if our beloved one is sleeping or not, we would check their last seen on WhatsApp or their last active moment on Facebook. When there was no Facebook or WhatsApp how did people use to check? Walk towards their room, open the door without making din, pop into the room and see. Smile looking at their face and go back closing the door behind them. Wasn't that an amazing feeling that has been lost into this technological era?

Every fa├žade of life has changed to a dramatic limit and now we find that nothing can happen to go back to previous old life where technology was supplementary to fulfil the needs. How many of us would like to go and live in a peaceful place where there would be no internet, no technology? For instance you may agree on it but if I add the word “permanently”?  Hands which were raised are now getting a place on or around waist. Right? My whole point of this write up was to tell that no doubt technology has lead us to live a lavishing life and has made it full of comfort but has it unleashed the true potential of our life? Don't we prefer to do everything on mobile rather than doing it in real life? We prefer playing candy crush or temple run rather than playing some outdoor games which would also make us more physical and strong?

While coming to the end of this article, I would request you to make a list of your goals and against write the way to achieve those goals. Now draw a column beside; the way to achieve those goals and write the caption “use of technology” and again draw a column near to that and write anything which can be alternative of the technology. One by one write the goal, way to achieve those goals and write use of technology to achieve and finally write the alternate.

Post this exercise, you will be able to judge for yourself how much this articles holds true for you as well and whether you would like to bring a change in your life with respect to technology.

There is a world outside the virtual world, if we can get some time let’s explore that creation of God, it might give us some wonderful moments.

I tried best to illuminate the impact of "e" in our life and article is inspired from my book e-love, a love saga written in virtual world.

Thank you for patience reading. Do write your thoughts on the same.


Tuesday, 26 January 2016

Book review : "Playing it my way" Sachin Tendulkar Autobiography

Any need to post my review about the autobiography? I think there is any need to post. When God of cricket Sachin himself wrote his story, there could not be  any chance to give less then 5 star. I feel even ***** (5 stars) can't do justice to the book.

Beautifully scribbled the journey of one of the finest cricketer, India has ever produced. Needless to say this book gives insight of Sachin's life and how did he mange to become the greatest cricketer of the history.

A must read for every one who likes cricket. It gives a chance to travel the past time when a sixteen year boy played his first international cricket match. It gives a chance to see how did Sachin go ahead with his career and became legend of the game.

Happy to know about him and will always cherish his contribution to the game.